hazyAs a special interest in my practice I have developed a service specifically tailored to people involved in a divorce or separation. Over the years I have come to understand the particular needs of people involved in a divorce and have collaborated with several solicitors in Suffolk and in London. I have been able to provide emotional and psychological support as a complement to the legal process. Emotional support can make the legal processes go more smoothly, quickly and minimise distressing 'left over' feelings.

Going through a divorce or separation will bring some very uncomfortable thoughts and feelings and you may find that this interferes with the difficult decisions and choices you will have to make. Your solicitor will be helping you in practical ways within the legal framework and will try to find a solution to the many problems raised by the divorce. However, you will also find that some of your concerns will not be addressed by your solicitor and you may be left overwhelmed by your feelings in ways which make the legal process more difficult and complicated and may be damaging to your health, your family and your work.

During a divorce or separation it is very common to feel unbearably sad or angry, often vengeful, perhaps depressed, restless and unable to relax. You might think that you are very sure of your decisions one minute, only to become wholly unsure in the next moment. You may also find yourself thinking and feeling the same things over and over again, sleeping badly, feeling physically ill and unable to concentrate and think clearly. You may swing alarmingly between anger and depression and often feel powerless and stuck in a situation which seems to go on forever.

Talking about these things with a qualified therapist can help both to calm and contain these difficult feelings. This can make some of the most important decisions of your life a bit easier to bear. The therapy can also help with the process of loss and grieving which will inevitably accompany the separation and help you to move towards an emotional ending as well as the practical and financial one.

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John Waterston, MA

UKCP accredited